sweet date!

i am so so so so happy today. after a whole month. and not being able to spend much time with my beloved boyfried, i finally managed to go out with him today.

IT WAS AWESOME!!!

seriously, i had fun on our date today. we watched the katherine hiegl and josh dummel show, LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. it was sweet and funny. the baby was so cute. and it showed some problems faced by parents when raising a child.

before that we had kfc for lunch. haha. after 3 rounds at the parking lot trying to find a parking space, we went to kfc for lunch. unfortunately, we ended up walking a long way cuz i didnt know that kfc and mcd shifted. sorry baby!!!

during the movie i cuddled with my boyfriend. he was so warm and cuddly. and it was perfect to watch the movie with him there.

after that we went round finding for a perfect couple key chain but couldnt find it. instead we were eating ice cream and i brought him into all the girl's stall like sinma and diva. haha!

all in all, i had a great time with him.our time together is so short alone. i felt very happy too be able to spend some precious moments with him today. cant wait for our skating date after stpm!

sweet baby dear, thank you so much for today. i love you so much! muah!!!

XOXO <3 <3

nothingness..

exams in form 6 is just a simple and legal way of killing students. that way the government gets to kill us but not get caught. seriously. the past few days have been tough. killed after each paper just to be reincarnated to sit for the next. CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!

on the other hand, we have people like yu hong and quek. too smart for us. we suffer. they complain that they'll fail. so what about the rest of us?? we're just dead i guess. lol.

and its weird. he doesnt accept a compliment when we say he's smart. but he says he is handsome. sweat! -_____- how funny! i have to beg to differ. i m on a different opinion. i dont even call my baby dear handsome. and in my opinion, my baby dear is definitely better looking.

haha!!!! i may be biased but the fact is still true. lol.

i guess thats all for now. haha! i am so glad my comp is fixed and i finally got a broadband! can go on9 as often to keep things updated! yay! haha!

anyways, a shout out to my friends and boyfriend who are all sitting for either spm and stpme.

gambate, aja aja hwaiting and all the best!!!!

love ya all esp my baby dear. muah!

XOXO <3

just blogging.

blogging makes me feel happy. i can tell how i feel without anyone commenting too much about it. seriously, i feel no doubts what so ever when i am blogging.

but sometimes, what i blogged about hurts the people around me. i dont write so that this happens. no! i blogged so that i can let go what i feel in me. to release that inner voice in me.

so please dont take offend about what i write here. i only express what i feel. please dont misunderstand. k???

i love all of you. and i wont offend you on purpose.

love ya all. love especially too my dearest baby. muah!

XOXO <3 <3 <3

cumbersomeness and unfairness!

i wonder why it is so unfair to me?

honestly, my dad scolds me for calling someone stupid on fb even though i did not state the person's name. and yet he was angry at me.


but its not fair. why when my sister calls me a bitch or uses the f-word in front of him, he doesnt scold her?


and in fact, i lernt it from him anyway. he's always scolding someone by using the f-word and calling them bitches and bastards. at least i only use stupid. i find it really unfair.


...

and then when i told him playfully that my boyfriend didnt feed me yesterday for lunch. do ou know what he replied? he told me "its your fault. who ask you so busy kiss and hug him? why you so stupid till didnt ask him for lucnh?"


wth??!!!!


i'm his daughter for crying out loud. what does he think i am? does he think that i only spend time with my boyfriend by kissing and hugging him??? even my mum thought it was a bit stupid of him to comment like that.


i feel so upset and to quote lee yang yi, i feel cumbersome by what my dad has said. he doesnt realise that he has hurt my feelings.

dear lord, help me to forgive my father even though he has hurt me. give me the strength so that i do not take offend towarsd him. help him see that i am not what he thinks i am. guide me my lord, so that what i do, is what seems right. i pray in your precious name.

...

i dont know if i'll ever forget what he said to me. but i know i love my boyfriend a lot and we dont spend our time together by kissing and hugging. thats not who we are.


he takes care of me and how i feel. and for that, my love for him can only grow.

my sweet baby dearest, you're all i want, i ever needed and my everything. love you always!


XOXO. <3 <3 <3

fun and laughters.

short entry. went to sayang's hse. influenced his aunty to do her nail polish with different colours like mine. awesome!

went out with ken and boon lye too. so funny la these 3 bros. can give you headaches and stomach pains with their crazy antics.

spent time with my sayang was the best time. love you sweet sayang. glad you enjoyed today and felt happy.

love you always! muah!!!!!!!

xoxo. <3 <3 <3

grow up!

its time you grew up gal! stop being like a bitchy small kid. the world isnt about you only.

i'm sick and tires of picking up you slack. i get into so much of trouble because of you. its time you change.

i am not your slave nor am i going to put up with it any longer. in front of others you act like a good kid. but behind closed doors, your true colours appear. stop being so bossy. change your attitude.

you complain that your friends bitch about you but you never realise that you guve them the reason to talk bad.

if only you would change then it wont be bad like this.

grow up girl. be your age.

dear god, please help her to change. i cant cope with it any longer. i want my family to be happy. please help us all. guide us in your light and show us the right path. give us the strength to change.

i pray in your name.. help us you humble servants.

just change girl.

lost???

what do you do when you feel like you're failing? what do you when circumstances put you in the opposite direction from what you were hoping for?

sometimes i find it hard to know what i want. one minute its this and the next is that. so what am i really looking for???

do you really have a part of you that wants me to leave? i am scared to find out. i dont want to dwell on it anymore. its time to grow up.

there is only two choices. if you ever want me to leave then dont hesitate to tell me. i will do you a favour even if it hurts me. i may not want it to happen and i hope it never will.

life is never easy but its time i act my age. i am not going to ponder on this any longer. you are all that matters. i accept you for who you are. i will try to live with that from now on. i may notmlike it but i love you enough to accept it.

dear god, help me to look at the positive side of him. no one is ever perfect except for you. help me to forgive him when what he does makes me sad. for i myself have my own faults. help me to change first if i want him to change. lord, as your humble servant, i ask for your help.

love you always my sweet love. i forgive you. you are the only person and thing that matters.

xoxo. <3

promises.

what is it about you that makes me keep forgiving you even though you keep breaking the small promises that you make to me?


i find it hard now a days to trust what you promise me because you hardly ever keep those promises.

what if one day you break the biggest and most important promise that you made to me? will i be able yo forgive you then? i am afraid of what the future holds for us. baby, i can only try to keep believing in your promises and hope that you will never break the most important.

i love you always my baby deares. MUAH!

XOXO <3

of make ups and my brother.

so.. my big crazy brother came over to reprograme and reinstall some things on my desktop today. and when he just started, i was just sitting down and doin my toenails. its blue and black. preeetyyyyy.. hee.. and then i asked my brother if he wanted me to do his nails too. haha! and he told me to get lost.

-____________-

and then we were talking about me being vain and my sister brought up the topic about make up. can you believe it???!!!

it reminded us of when we were small. because...

my brother used to put my mums make up on himself!!! haha. we were really mischievous and young i guess. and to complete his look, he would also use my mums jewellery.

isnt he cute?? haha.

I LOVE YOU KOR KOR! <3

lil things that are BIG

wow. i never knew my boyfriend is so sweet!! haha. ok. even though the flowers were from his cousin's wedding, i dont care! even though my mum says he isnt sincere, i dont care! i still loved it very much and the roses are still very much sweet smelling.

ROSES ARE RED,
VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
SUGAR IS SWEET,
AND SO ARE YOU!!

thanks for the flowers my dear. i will always treasure it even after it has died.

...

so you see, giving flowers may seem outdated to some, but i think it is a very special gesture when a boy gives a girl flowers.

different flowers have different meanings. and roses are considered the romance flowers. red and white. what a perfect combination.!

so i am very happy my boyfriend gave me the flowers although he didnt exactly buy it. it shows that he really loves and cares for me!

p.s. i did guessed what it was when he told me he had a surprise for me. haha!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE!!! MUAH!!

LOVE YOU ALWAYS.
XOXO <3

missing people!

what a day! its the 10 of 1o year 10. and yet i spent it sleeping, church and internet. perfectly the same as every other week.

after sundayy school classes (the kids were driving me crazy! and yet i still love them lots. haha!), me, and my two close friends and bestie from 08 team walked all the way to giant. it took us 30mins to reach our destination. thanks to my dad who didnt want to fetch us, and brandon who had to rush off to klang.. haha! but it was fun walking with the girls. it seemed that we were the only ones that still remained closed after our stint in rally 08.

and now, i am missing my dear sweet boyfriend! hmmm. hope he's having fun at his cousin's wedding. i hope can see him tomorrow! haha! love you my sweet!

thats all for this 10/10/10 day. what a boring day! i miss everyone!

XOXO <3

of missing and thinking.

i wonder..

there is just so many things that goes through my mind everyday. and yet, many of it are insignificant to my life.

for exaample..

what are you thinking gurl? after 3 years of harbouring so much love for him, you're giving up in just a lil over 2 months? you claimed to love him, made me unsecure when i wasnt with him and then you gave him up. i guess in a way i could understand as you were going through so much paain. believe me when i say i've been through it all. but is it really true that you're over him? ask youself this and search for the answer deep within your heart.

...

see what i mean by thinking things that does not relate to me?

...

thats only half of what i go through. even though she says that she says she's over him, i cant help feeling that all she's doing is only denying the fact. call it a sixth sense or a lady's intiution, but the feeling is strong. it just wont go away.

hmmm.. maybe there's just something wrong with me. to be honest, even after 4 amazing months with him, i dont know where i stand in his life. i could list  number of things that seems more important than me even though he denies it. and i even still feel jealous. i know that he loves me more than anything. yet, i am unsure of my hold on him. what if he leaves me one day???

...

and to be honest, i wished i could see him on this sunday. at first i was to teman him at his cousins wedding. but because he wasnt coming back to pj.. that meant i wouldnt be seeing him till tuesday. if only it were possible to see him i wouldnt be feeling this pathetic. i cant even text him now because he has no credit to reply. it hurts though that he has the time to be online but not enough time to reload. i miss him a lot.

i guess this is what it really feels like to be head over heels in love. seriously, i cant seem to breathe right without hin by my side.

...

there is one sun, one moon, many stars and galaxies, and one universe,
yet none of this can compare to how much i love you
or how much you mean to me.

upon the stars i pray that you'll always be safe,
upon the moon, i hope that i am the light in your darkness,
upon the sun i pray that you'll shine brightly with happiness,
upon everything else, i pray that we'll always be together forever.

xoxo <3