what if?

what if???

1. you decide that i am not worth it one day and leave me?
2. hurt me without meaning to and yet dont realise it?
3. decide that i am not good enough for you and go after another girl?
4. you think that life isnt worth to live and decide to leave me in tis cold and lonely world?
5. that your ex is better than me and that you  regret leaving her and want her back?

WHAT IF???
WHAT WOULD I DO THEN??
WILL I DECIDE TO TAKE MY LIFE AWAY AND JUST MAKE THE BIGGEST SIN IN MY LIFE??

OH JESUS, please help me. i am your humble servant. guide me.

BABY,
do you know how much you mean to me? how much i love you? how i cant live without you? how i wish that you can be with me every single moment of our life?

i cant stop thinking about you. you have turned my world upside down. there is nothing in this world that matters more than you.

and yet.. i still feel lonely and insecure when you are not with me. i feel upset when you unintentionally or intentionally flirt with other girls, or when you forget about me when you're with your brothers, or when you prefer to watch football than be with me.

i feel sad when you tell me that she is better than me(even when i ask you to tell me). i feel a fear in me that one day you might say that you you have seen the light and regret leaving her and want to be with her again. i feel angry when sometimes you say things that hurts me but you dont mean it on purpose yet you also dont realise that you have hurt me.

i often wondered what it would feel like to be falling in love so deeply with some one like in fairytales. i finally know what it feels like now. to feel all this emotions in me.. love, jealousy, sadness, happiness, joy, tears, frustration, upset, fear...

that is what it feels like when i am with you. i just cant help the negative feelings that i have sometimes. at night i would lie in bed and think of you and how much it would hurt if you break my heart and went back on all your promises to me. i would not be able to stand the pain and would rather stand in the middle of the road.

there is just so much that i need from you. yet...

i can only thank you for giving me this chance to be with you. no matter what happens, i am grateful because i had a chance to be your love. i would forgive you a million times over even when you have hurt me. i would never remember it because loving you is all that matters.

THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE BY MY SIDE AND TAKING CARE OF ME. FORGIVE ME FOR THE TIMES THAT I HAVE HURT YOU MYSELF. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL. I PRAY FOR OUR HAPPINESS TOGETHER AND THAT YOU'LL AKWAYS BE BY MY SIDE.

OH DEAR GOD,

thank you for blessing me with this wonderful person. thank you for creating him and giving him to me. truly, mere words cannot describe how much i love him nor can it describe my gratefulness to you. you have created him to be so special. and i pray that my time with him will always be happy. may we always be happy together. may you take care of him when i am not with him, may no harm or evil befall him. i love him so much and cannot live without him.

i thank you dear lord once again for giving him to me and i love you too..

BABY.. THANK YOU FOR BEING APART OF MY LIFE. HUGS AND KISSES!! I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER.