yesterday, today and tomorrow.

me dear..

i am just so exhausted right now. i keep thinking about you even though you're just next to me. how do i cope with this feeling? i am confused.

i keep thinking of our past. for some reason, i think of our problems that we had. and i keep wishing that i can return in time so that i can keep those things that i did that hurt you from ever happening. remember those times that we argued and fought? i couldnt help but cry. it hurts me just to think about it. yet, most of our arguments took place because i missed you so much and kept being moody. isnt it just weird?

and then i'll also think of our time together.. sweet memories of us. the more i think of it, the more i realise that we have had more arguments than sweet memories.i just want us to have more happy mments but i dont know how to have those moments with you.

sometimes i wonder. if you ever regretted being with me. when i start thinking of this, i think of her. do u miss her? do you want her back? do you ever think of her more than a friend? i wish i could say that i dont want you to be friends with her, to look at her or contact her. but that just shows that i am being insecure. i'm trying to be matured about it but i find it so hard to control my emotions.

today...
i try to be happy because you are here with me. i get to take you along with my family on a vacation. but sadly.. i dont feel all that happy. i was excited. but seeing you now, how tired and moody you are. i worry so much about you. i dont know what to do to comfort you. how to cheer you up?? i feel so useless sometimes. i just wish that i knew what to do?!

tomorrow...

will it be better than today and all our yesterdays? i feel a fear of our future together. i know that i cant possibly live if you ever left me. but i would not stop you. i can only pray and hope that you wont. baby.. i just want to live happily my life with you by my side. what ever tomorrow holds in store, i will be able to live trough it with you at my side.

DEAR GOD,

once again i can only thank you for everything that you have given to me. i pray that you will keep him by my side and that no matter what he does or chooses, he will be happy. take care and protect him from harm and evil. THANK YOU.

love you always baby.. <3 <3