of missing and thinking.

i wonder..

there is just so many things that goes through my mind everyday. and yet, many of it are insignificant to my life.

for exaample..

what are you thinking gurl? after 3 years of harbouring so much love for him, you're giving up in just a lil over 2 months? you claimed to love him, made me unsecure when i wasnt with him and then you gave him up. i guess in a way i could understand as you were going through so much paain. believe me when i say i've been through it all. but is it really true that you're over him? ask youself this and search for the answer deep within your heart.

...

see what i mean by thinking things that does not relate to me?

...

thats only half of what i go through. even though she says that she says she's over him, i cant help feeling that all she's doing is only denying the fact. call it a sixth sense or a lady's intiution, but the feeling is strong. it just wont go away.

hmmm.. maybe there's just something wrong with me. to be honest, even after 4 amazing months with him, i dont know where i stand in his life. i could list  number of things that seems more important than me even though he denies it. and i even still feel jealous. i know that he loves me more than anything. yet, i am unsure of my hold on him. what if he leaves me one day???

...

and to be honest, i wished i could see him on this sunday. at first i was to teman him at his cousins wedding. but because he wasnt coming back to pj.. that meant i wouldnt be seeing him till tuesday. if only it were possible to see him i wouldnt be feeling this pathetic. i cant even text him now because he has no credit to reply. it hurts though that he has the time to be online but not enough time to reload. i miss him a lot.

i guess this is what it really feels like to be head over heels in love. seriously, i cant seem to breathe right without hin by my side.

...

there is one sun, one moon, many stars and galaxies, and one universe,
yet none of this can compare to how much i love you
or how much you mean to me.

upon the stars i pray that you'll always be safe,
upon the moon, i hope that i am the light in your darkness,
upon the sun i pray that you'll shine brightly with happiness,
upon everything else, i pray that we'll always be together forever.

xoxo <3